Our Ever-Increasing Senior Population

 In order to adequately cover this topic I will need to write a series of articles about it because just one long essay will not nearly cover enough, as is warranted.  

Perhaps it’s just me, but it appears that our senior population is increasing. People are living much longer than in the recent past, to the point that they are becoming a substantial percentage of the total population.

There was a time when you did not see as many older people out and about, but these days people in their mid-to-late seventies and upward, are out-and-about, driving back-and-forth, and doing many things that we’re not used to seeing.

Back when I was in my 20s I thought people over 60 were old people. But now that I am over 60 I don’t feel anywhere near a senior citizen, although technically I am. The point is that people are living longer lives and they are not yet ready to be put out to pasture.

My concern is having sufficient planning and financial resources available to compensate for the many years of extended lifespan. With so little pickings available overall, our elders are forced to compete for the best of things with other age groups.

In many cases the social security benefits do not adequately cover all your typical monthly expenses and obligations. If you carry heavy debts into retirement those bills still have to be paid. With a substantial reduction in income and an increase in expenses, plus having fewer chances to find decent paying jobs, I wonder what will happen to us all as we enter the later stages of our lives? Will we outlive our nest eggs?

As a person in my early 60s my Mom is in her mid-80s. She still drives herself to her favorite place to shop, Wal-Mart’s, on a regular basis. She not only goes to the gym 3 days a week but she still finds time to do things that keep her mind and body active and engaged. I know the things I am experiencing at 60+ but I can’t fully comprehend what it will feel like to add 20+ more years of wear and tear on this old body!

In my case, I was fortunate to start exercising while I was a young man, so to this day I make sure I keep my body in relatively decent condition. I also discovered that I had high blood pressure and now high cholesterol and diabetes as well. Most of this I inherited, but some of it was due to poor diets or bad habits.

One thing to be certain is that if you take decent care of your body it will last you longer and more efficiently. Unfortunately, our bodies were not meant to last forever; however, if you take decent care of it, it will take better care of you.

Due to advances in science and medicine, people are living longer and more productive lifestyles at much older ages. Although we might be able to live better physically what about financially? Do we have enough financial resources to cover twenty-plus years of retirement living? When many of our friends and acquaintances die, we are suddenly left in a lonesome place, possibly with very little intimate company to help sustain us through those waning years.

In bygone days extended families were available to help the elders of the family. During those days they were highly esteemed and treated with respect and honor. Some cultures still have this high regard for their elders, but for the most part there seems to be a breakdown of the nuclear family. People are spreading out, moving away, leaving the elders to cover themselves with very little to do it with.

It’s a shame that the people that gave you birth and cared for you until you learned how to nurture yourself are seemingly discarded like an old out-of-date wardrobe. This ought not be so. A society that dishonors their elders is a society that is headed toward doom and despair. This is unfortunate because if people live long enough they, too, will become the discarded and dishonored elders.

Folks, while there is still time, we need to do more things to honor our elders. We need to find ways to support them physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Age is not a disease or condition that one may avoid. It is so unfortunate that when assistance is needed most, in too many cases it is the least thing offered.

For the record, I don’t have all the answers to the issues I just raised. I don’t have a lot of money or even enough resources to last me comfortably for another twenty-odd years. Apparently, what I seem to have more abundantly than I rightly know what to do with it is time, if I should live that long.

I am hoping over the coming years that my children and my grandchildren will have absorbed the lessons that I taught them, and teach their children to do the same. Instruct them on how to respect their elders, and treat them with the highest honor and regard, for they were the ones that gave you the gift of life. Return the favor and give them a decent quality of life when they need it the most.  As my late father-in-law often said, "If we all live long enough, we all get to be old!"

As a society we must find ways to take better care of our elders. This problem will continue to get worse until we do something to remedy the situation. Our aging population deserves much better treatment than what is currently unfolding.

The glass half-full

Believe it or not we are less than one month away from spring, my favorite season of the year. Time moves by so fast that we barely get settled in one season when the next one is right upon us. I suppose that is a good thing because when it is either too hot or too cold you usually don’t have all that long to wait before things change.

Perhaps it is only my imagination but does it seem like it is hotter for longer periods of time than it is warm and pleasant?

In Southern California we have longer periods when the weather is mild or average, but our memories seem to hold on to the hotter and unpleasant days longer than those that are average.

When you think about it our weather doesn’t often get hot around here until July and it cools back down right around Halloween. Our hot months are usually from July, August, September, and October. November can have a few warm days, but they are not sustained for the entire month.

Consequently we have about four hot months and the rest of them are rather average so why is it that we hold on to the memories of the hot unpleasant days that are in a minority instead of the average ones that comprise the majority?

Obviously there are different weather patterns around the globe that aren’t like those of Southern California but the point I was making was not as much about the climate as much as it was about the things we choose to store in our memory banks.

As far as our memories are concerned we tend to hold on to the bad ones perhaps longer than the great ones. We could have had just one bad day in a week but we were willing to classify that as a bad week when there were six other days that were routine. Why don’t the average days get as much recognition?

Are we being programmed to dwell upon negativity over things that are positive? When you think about the overall population, most people are decent and hard-working people, but only the really bad minority of citizens seem to capture the spotlight.  I suppose that's what is meant by "news", something different, otherwise every day would be a boring procession of sameness.

Millions of cars go back and forth daily all times of day and night, but only the few accidents are recorded in the news while the average days of calmness go unnoticed.

The majority of people experience routine days where not much happens out of the ordinary, but they only choose to remember the great days or the worse ones, mostly the worse. When things operate at a pretty even pace, they go by relatively unnoticed, but the bad ones seem to dominate our memory banks for years. Why is that?

I am just over sixty years of age. I would guess that if I totaled up all my normal days and strung them together they would make up about fifty eight continuous years, while maybe only a few total months would make up my bad days and perhaps just under a couple of years would be great times. With that many average days why do I seem only to remember the abnormal ones?

I’m reminded of the glass being either half-full or half-empty. When you see it as half-full you have great hope, but when you see it as half-empty you sense fear and despair. In truth it is the exact same amount, but how we experience it is totally different.   Someone once said that our consciousness is made up not only by 90% of what happens to us but, instead, 10% of our perception of what happens.

If I had a one-hundred-mile-trip to make and thought about where I was at the fifty-mile marker, it would be different if I thought, “Oh darn, I have fifty more miles to go,” rather than, “Wow, I only have fifty more miles to go.” It would be the same distance to cover, but a quite different attitude about doing so.

If I am living my life worried about how bad things are, yet refusing to acknowledge the great things that surround me, that would deeply impact my spirit as I go about my life.

If I attended a university to earn a degree in a certain subject and after two years thought; “Gosh, I have two more grueling years to go before I earn my degree;” as opposed to “Wow, look at how much I have gained in these first two years of studying.” It is the same person in the same position, yet a totally different attitude.

The difference between the glass being half-full or half-empty is huge, but it is the same physical thing. If we see our lives as this wonderful passage that we are experiencing rather than the sporadic highs and lows perhaps when things get low you can know in your mind, “This, too, shall pass.”

I have personally learned that no matter how hard I worry about things that are out of my control, I still can’t control them. When I wake up tomorrow, if I wake up, I will still be less than six foot tall. When I die I will be still be Black and under six-foot tall. No amount of worry will ever change these things, yet I still find myself worrying.

Although there are many things that we can’t control, there are also many that we can, yet we choose to spend more of our available time on the ones we can’t rather than those we can. Doesn’t it make more sense to spend more time doing things that you are capable of doing rather than those that only cause you to worry?

Both are virtually the same thing, but the difference is in your attitude about the thing. Do you see the glass as half-full most of the time, or half-empty? Even though they may be virtually the same thing, there’s a world of difference between the two experiences because of our attitude towards them! 

You are the artist drawing the picture of your life. Will you choose to paint is optimistically or pessimistically. Your choice!

Jumping into the Social-Media-Techno-Savvy Craze

 

First of all I must admit that even though I have been one to jump on the techno-savvy bandwagon early for years, I still have a mental block when it comes to actually applying this new medium of connecting with others socially through the Internet.

If you want to learn something about texting, facebooking, twittering, YouTubing, and the like just find a kid with a Smart/Phone. This generation is growing up with this technology, so to them, this is what they do, not what they become. On the other hand we are trying to become what they are doing naturally.

It appears that I have been on this learning curve for about twenty years or so now. When home computers just started getting popular I purchased one and began to use it for my real estate business. At that time there were a few seminars that assisted us in learning the basics of computer usage.

Next we had the digital cameras that allowed us to upload our own photos or videos of homes into the MLS (Multiple Listing Service). And then we were able to have our own websites and pages to totally manage what we were promoting. This was all before Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and even MySpace were invented.

Let us not forget about how the new smart digital book-readers are changing the entire publishing industry. Rather than purchasing printed books and material people can just upload the digital files without even leaving the comfort of their homes.

The problem with this constantly growing and ever-changing technology is that by the time you learn one thing you are already behind for the next big “new” thing.

I remember a friend of mine who is a videographer telling me about how we would have the ability to upload and watch videos on our phones soon. That was about ten years ago and I thought he was a little “too far out there” at the time. In essence things that we could only imagine ten years ago are already ancient history today.

I suppose I’ve owned more than twenty cell phones to date. Each time I purchase one it becomes old in about six weeks, to the point that I feel the urge to buy a new one. Perhaps we should just start leasing smart phones so we can simply turn them back in when the new ones come out.

As we watched the movie about the creation of Facebook I wonder whatever happened to the person that created MySpace? Certainly this company was around doing what Facebook does before Facebook took over that marketing position in the industry.

You never know what will take off and become the next booming sensation. Because of this perhaps we should stop trying to be “hip” and try instead to be more functional.

There are many things we may use that will enhance our lives today, but if we spend too much time trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” we will have very little time left over to enjoy the simple pleasures that life still offers.

Perhaps those of us who are over fifty-plus years of age may take this advice more to heart because those of you under fifty have a much longer expected lifespan to get off the bandwagon. With another possible thirty-plus years to live you need to stay in the learning curve or face becoming a dinosaur in the years only too soon to come.

As a baby boomer just over the age of sixty I am happy I jumped on the bandwagon years ago, but trying to keep up with the kids is a never-ending job. Although I have several websites, blog sites, email addresses, smart phones, Kindle, video posting capabilities, and I know the basics about how to navigate in this new arena, I’m getting tired of chasing new technology.

Since I may have a limited time to sit back and smell the roses I don’t want to spend too many of my remaining days and nights in a class to learn something that will become old before I learn how to apply it to my daily life.

I think I am savvy enough to communicate with the majority of the public so either I will need to become friends with a few young people, such as my grand kids, who will keep me in their loop, or I will need to become content with the fact that this new world belongs to the youth. At this stage I am just an elder statesman passing through enjoying things that are still “real” and not just techno savvy.

I know how to sit on a bench and just watch people pass by. I love to sit in the woods and listen to the sound of all the critters. I love to watch the sunset and sunrise. I love to witness the coming of the fresh new seasons each year, especially the spring. I love to smell the roses and other sweet fragrances of nature. I love to be face-to-face with people and have a decent heart-to-heart conversation with even strangers.

If you get too trapped in this new cyberspace you become less human and more of an avatar to all these smart gadgets. There is nothing wrong with technological growth, but we shouldn’t lose what makes us human beings in the process.

We still need to nurture our ordinary senses, which are seeing each other, feeling each other, hearing each other, tasting the good life, and taking the time to smell the occasional flowers as we step out into this feely-touchy world in which we live. I’m not quite ready to give up what makes us human yet in exchange for this new social-media-techno-savvy craze.      

LA'S BEST GOURMET FOOD TRUCKS IN ALTADENA

 What do you do on a Friday evening in Altadena? I received a Facebook invitation from Webster’s Liquor about an event featuring LA’s gourmet food trucks. I had heard of this trend on the local news about how popular these gatherings were becoming.

On the same Friday that the Egyptian people had just won their freedom from a 30-year reign of dictatorship we were participating in an event that was spearheaded by social media. When people connect through this channel big things are happening. It is as though we are gaining people-power and this power is becoming stronger.

If you build it, they will come. If you create something that people like and put it on Twitter or Facebook or any of a number of techno-event-blasting resources; people are finding it and following it. Apparently there is no single head to this trend, but instead something that is being driven by the desires of the people.

If this first Friday evening’s event is any indication of what’s to come this could become a smashing success. People were standing in line for over an hour just to order from the “Shrimp Pimp” food truck.

Even though this truck was late getting started, it was the most popular of the four present that evening. Apparently those who follow Twitter have already heard about this craze and are willing to travel to where these gourmet trucks set up shop.

What was so obvious was the hunger and thirst people have up here in Altadena for interesting things to do. The good news is that this event was not driven by fancy marketing ads or a long-term pre-planned attraction, it is being driven by the ability of people to spread the word down in the trenches from the ground level upward through this new social-media phenomenon.

This craze is what started a revolution in Egypt and peacefully overthrew a dictatorship in just 18 days. It was the ability of the public to start a ground swell from the desires of the people. We are so used to being told what to do, how to believe, and what is good for us by the establishment, but that day seems to be long gone, or at least quickly fading into the past.

There must have been several hundred people gathered at this event over the evening. There were families with small kids and people of all ages present. Being in that atmosphere you get a chance to meet your community. Everyone there seemed to have been equally as amazed to be there and meet each other.

I struck up a conversation with so many strangers that were just as eager to chat and show their friendliness and desire to mingle. This is the real Altadena that everyone wants, not the one that you read about in the blogs or news services. When people are face-to-face they show their real colors, which seems to be quite friendly.

Unfortunately we most often get this sense that there is too much animosity among people, but perhaps that is more media-hype rather than reality-driven. If you notice when you are out in public people are generally friendly, even strangers.

Could it be more our perception to assume the worst in people than is warranted? Even though there are some serious jerks and really weird people in society, they are only a small percentage of the general public, yet we generally put up our defensive walls blocking everyone out just to protect ourselves from the few.

You can meet people for the first time in a grocery line or at other public events such as this one and have a great conversation with them without even realizing your differences. When people that you would not ordinarily meet come into your pathway usually you are rewarded by their presence rather than threatened.

This is what is possible for Altadena or most communities, but rather than opening ourselves to receive its rewards we tend to be more skeptical.

If we refuse to lower our guards, at least long enough to realize that people are often genuinely warm and friendly, we stand to lose more than we gain. It is our loss when we don’t open our hearts to receive the gift that people could offer to us: that is the gift of love; loving one another, and just expressing human kindness.

We need more opportunities such as this to show who we are. We need more chances to practice letting down our guard so we can express our human kindness and display our best.

It appears that we are headed in the right direction, but we can get there much faster with more practice. We need more such events so we can show each other just how warm and friendly we can be as a community.

Whoever organized this event, please do so again: I think it will be a great success here in Altadena.

Shoe on the other foot

I find it interesting how I boldly state my own opinions and yet become so easily agitated when others state theirs. In a similar way I pull so hard for my team to win that I almost blindly refuse to see that the other team also has supporters. Are we becoming so competitive that we refuse to see the other point of view?

I find myself writing about this subject quite often. It is because I really need to hold myself back a bit from taking such strong stands about certain things, so much so that it has gotten to the point that I refuse to even look at another's point of view.

Many wars are started for this very reason. People become so blinded by their personal view of things that they refuse to even consider the views of others. Family feuds often begin just like this.  Siblings or even best friends will break up, at times for life, because of this blindness. If we aren’t careful we will find ourselves so rigid that no one can penetrate through our thick shells of selfishness.

As a sport’s fan living in the LA area I had to almost stop watching the Lakers because it seems that just when I watched a game they would lose to a team that they were supposed to blow away. I would become furious at them!

When you stop to think about it they are the current two-time champions of the NBA and personally each one of them are financially doing well. Why should I become so stressed out about them losing some games when at the end of the day they will go home to their mansions (or wherever) and I end up seething in my stress and sorrow in my little house. Stress can kill, so I am told!

When my neighbors do things differently than what I am accustomed to seeing it irritates me no end.  It is not that they are bad people, just the fact that they are different. Why should that irritate me? In truth there is nothing about their behavior that is wrong except for the fact that they are acting differently from the way I am used to seeing things done. I really have no right to be upset, but this eruption seems to come from somewhere deep in my gut.

In spousal or long-term partnerships inevitably one party will do something that is different from the other and it irritates them no end. In truth there is nothing wrong with how others do things except for the fact that they are different from another's expectations. Why should that be so upsetting?

Since this tension seem to rise out of our guts so often and they concern so many different situations and circumstances then perhaps each of us needs to back ourselves up a bit and see if we are able to determine from where this gut feeling is emanating.

Competition can become a healthy motivation, but once we become so blinded by our own immutable point of view that we refuse to accept the views of others we need to check something in our personalities. We need to make sure the person that we see in the mirror each day is not primary one causing the problems.

Understanding this to be true of me I decided to take a deeper look at how I judge things. Lately I purposefully take the need to be right or to win out of the equation for a while so I could see just how blind I had become to my own selfish attitude.

When being right or winning was not the only goal the results did not stress me out as much. I actually learned that the point of view of others was even quite interesting at times, and I broadened my own horizons by trying to understand the other's viewpoint.

Obviously we can’t always practice this exercise but when possible give it a try and you will be amazed at how the shoe fits and or feels when it is on the other foot. The only requirement is that you will have to reduce the size of your ego, at least momentarily, in order for this practice to work in all sincerity.

Give it a try, it might show you something about yourself where you had become partially or totally blinded. – Pearls of Wisdom.