I find myself writing about this subject quite often. It is because I really need to hold myself back a bit from taking such strong stands about certain things, so much so that it has gotten to the point that I refuse to even look at another's point of view.
Many wars are started for this very reason. People become so blinded by their personal view of things that they refuse to even consider the views of others. Family feuds often begin just like this. Siblings or even best friends will break up, at times for life, because of this blindness. If we aren’t careful we will find ourselves so rigid that no one can penetrate through our thick shells of selfishness.
As a sport’s fan living in the LA area I had to almost stop watching the Lakers because it seems that just when I watched a game they would lose to a team that they were supposed to blow away. I would become furious at them!
When you stop to think about it they are the current two-time champions of the NBA and personally each one of them are financially doing well. Why should I become so stressed out about them losing some games when at the end of the day they will go home to their mansions (or wherever) and I end up seething in my stress and sorrow in my little house. Stress can kill, so I am told!
When my neighbors do things differently than what I am accustomed to seeing it irritates me no end. It is not that they are bad people, just the fact that they are different. Why should that irritate me? In truth there is nothing about their behavior that is wrong except for the fact that they are acting differently from the way I am used to seeing things done. I really have no right to be upset, but this eruption seems to come from somewhere deep in my gut.
In spousal or long-term partnerships inevitably one party will do something that is different from the other and it irritates them no end. In truth there is nothing wrong with how others do things except for the fact that they are different from another's expectations. Why should that be so upsetting?
Since this tension seem to rise out of our guts so often and they concern so many different situations and circumstances then perhaps each of us needs to back ourselves up a bit and see if we are able to determine from where this gut feeling is emanating.
Competition can become a healthy motivation, but once we become so blinded by our own immutable point of view that we refuse to accept the views of others we need to check something in our personalities. We need to make sure the person that we see in the mirror each day is not primary one causing the problems.
Understanding this to be true of me I decided to take a deeper look at how I judge things. Lately I purposefully take the need to be right or to win out of the equation for a while so I could see just how blind I had become to my own selfish attitude.
When being right or winning was not the only goal the results did not stress me out as much. I actually learned that the point of view of others was even quite interesting at times, and I broadened my own horizons by trying to understand the other's viewpoint.
Obviously we can’t always practice this exercise but when possible give it a try and you will be amazed at how the shoe fits and or feels when it is on the other foot. The only requirement is that you will have to reduce the size of your ego, at least momentarily, in order for this practice to work in all sincerity.
Give it a try, it might show you something about yourself where you had become partially or totally blinded. – Pearls of Wisdom.
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